Lately I’ve had lots of time to let my mind idle. It’s not exactly a bad thing (there are many research projects supporting the benefits of an idling mind), but I’ve grown to dislike that feeling… of not thinking about anything.
I dislike it when I have nothing to keep myself engaged. I want to be constantly on the move, doing things, trying new activities, anything that makes me feel like I’m making use of my time wisely. Even if it’s watching an old sitcom on TV again. Or spending ten minutes talking to my brother about his day in school. The moment my mind is not fixated on a task, I’ll be on the lookout for something else to do.
It’s become a bad habit; I keep questioning what I’m doing with my life, why I’m not doing something useful, why I’m not taking chances when I have a never-ending list of goals etc…
The reflective process is great but the cycle of questioning my life decisions weighs me down.
Not sure where this post is going, just needed to get some thoughts down.