Of friendships and a failing memory…

I don’t have that many friends. I can’t say I have a best friend because… well, how can I say that one person is my best friend and she/he doesn’t feel the same way? Can I have best friends instead? Also, how do you draw the line between a friend and an acquaintance?

But what I can say is that I have great friends. Friends who share their stories and experiences with me, friends who tell of the guy/girl they secretly like, friends who spill their worries and secrets over beer, friends who inspire me to be a better me etc…

In short, I want to proclaim to the world that I HAVE GREAT FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

 Few days back, I met this friend in school who I haven’t talked to in what, 6 years??? Where did all that time run to? When I saw her I was afraid she would ignore me and turn away (like what I would do when I see a familiar face – sorry not sorry), but she very graciously said hi and I swear in that second I was absolutely delighted to talk to her again because she used to be a friend so dear! I recall the days we used to fangirl over the crime dramas showing on TV and we even pretended we were characters of that show at the carpark of her block. 青春时真的无忧无虑,好单纯,好天真。I was genuinely so happy to see her and in that few minutes we talked I felt like it was back to when we were 14 once again. We agreed to catch up and I will make sure we do. Time to rekindle all those friendships. The real ones.

Because I don’t want to lose a great friendship, or any other of the special bonds I have with my friends, I like to write down all these special moments down. I remember a friend sharing with me how she looked for at least 1 good thing that happened each day, and started a ‘good things’ list. That’s a good start. It forced me to look for something positive out of a seemingly harsh and difficult day.

I would encourage everyone to start such a list! It may be hard to write something down everyday, so maybe start with twice a week. And then progressively count your blessings. And you’ll also have something to look at and laugh about when you’re bored on a lonely, rainy day. 🙂 It doesn’t have to be something grand/big like donating money to a charity or topping the class. Instead, think of the little things – raising your hand to ask a question in class or approaching a classmate you’ve never talked to before. The joys you get can be surprising.

Speaking of writing, some people ask why I write. And very simply, my answer is that I have a terrible memory and I am selfish in a way that I want to hold on to all these memories of good times and bad. It’s a pity our brains cannot search a piece of memory as and when we want like a search engine. I have a fear of forgetting so I religiously write as much as I can. So I can read back and laugh at myself. Or smile at something good. Or feel bad about myself for doing silly things.

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